Gut check—how are y’all holding up out there? These days, it’s hard not to live in a state of hypervigilance as we watch the familiar, trusted structures of our civilization wobble like a house of cards. Only, the house hasn’t fallen yet, and on the surface, things still mostly “look” normal (unless, of course, you’re a government worker, a marginalized person, an immigrant, or someone who could be mistaken for any of the above).

We all sense that the other shoe is bound to drop as our belligerent leader tears through our government like a bull in a china shop. So, how are we dealing with this as parents? How do we navigate the demands of daily life while witnessing democracy crumble before our eyes? How do we support healthy development in our kids, care for ourselves, and fight for our country all at once?

These are big questions, and the answers will differ for each of us, shaped by our intersectional identities, resources, abilities, and capacities. As someone who currently has enough privilege to feel relatively safe, I want to reflect on a few guiding principles that are helping me, and I would LOVE to hear how you are navigating parenting on the brink of chaos.

Principle 1: Stay Informed, But Set Boundaries

What does it mean to be “informed enough”? That’s subjective, but here’s how I gauge it for myself:

• I want to know enough to stay engaged and avoid complacency, but not so much that I become desensitized or paralyzed by overwhelm.

• I prioritize information sources that offer actionable steps, however small, and keep an eye on movements building so I can contribute when I’m ready.

• I stay updated on how my family and community are being impacted so I can help where I can.

If I consume news indiscriminately or too frequently, I get flooded, my nervous system stays stuck in overdrive, and I struggle to return to a regulated state. I know I’ve hit my limit when my sleep suffers and my mind won’t slow down at night. To counteract this, I rely on movement (exercising helps me process anger and fear), meditation, naps, cuddles with my family (co-regulation), and time outdoors.

Principle 2: Inform Your Kids Thoughtfully

Your kids don’t need to hear that we’re on the brink of apocalypse.  That won’t prepare them; it’ll just scare them. Depending on their age and identity, they may need to be informed about serious issues, but how we deliver that information matters.

A few guiding tips:

• Be truthful. Kids pick up on when something is wrong. What’s scarier than a crisis? Knowing something is wrong but sensing that your parents think it’s too big and terrifying to talk about. So be honest. Deliver information clearly, calmly, and with a sense of direction.
  
  

  • Example: If my ten-year-old sees me upset, I might say, “I’m crying because some good people lost their jobs suddenly. I don’t think it was fair, and I feel really mad about it. I need to sit with these feelings for a bit, and then I’m going to write a letter to someone in charge to tell them I think it’s wrong.”

  • This approach normalizes emotions, states the truth simply, and shows there is always something, however small, that can be done.
    
    

• Limit exposure to catastrophic media. Be mindful of what news your kids overhear. They don’t need doom-and-gloom talk or to absorb your despair. Process the heaviest of your emotions away from them so they don’t take on that burden.
  
  

• Prepare them for what directly impacts them. If something big is happening that affects your family, community, or them personally, approach it calmly and with support. Regulate yourself first, then sit down with your child and explain in clear, digestible terms what is happening, answering all their questions honestly. Offer reassurance that there are people working to make things better and that you are doing everything you can to keep them safe.
  
  

• Teach them to look for the helpers. As Mr. Rogers advised, encourage kids notice the good: activists, community organizers, people stepping up to help. Balance hard truths with hope and action.
  
  

• Track your child’s nervous system signals. Can you tell when your kid feels safe and connected? Can you recognize when they start shutting down, clinging, getting agitated, or withdrawing? If you sense they’re overwhelmed, pause and focus on co-regulation (offer warmth, connection, and reassurance).

Principle 3: Take Action as a Family

Action helps kids process difficult emotions and strengthens their sense of agency. Here are a few ways to engage:

• Make protest signs together.

• Attend a family-friendly march, vigil, or event.

• Volunteer in your community: plant trees, clean up streets, support a local mutual aid group.

Even small, tangible actions help kids integrate difficult realities while fostering their competence, generosity, and sense of purpose. They learn that change happens through action, not just despair.

The Bottom Line:

• Take care of yourself. Stay informed, but set limits. Process emotions in a way that allows you to stay present and engaged.
  
  

• Take care of your kids. Be honest but measured. Help them absorb reality at a level they can handle while also showing them that people are working to make things better, and that they can be part of that change.

And an important caveat: This advice is for families NOT in immediate danger. I recognize that many families are in crisis, for whom different, urgent interventions are necessary, and for whom this guidance may be wholly inadequate.